How to Actually Fix Formula 1

Some improvements to the Motorsport that would make it great again

Everyone seems to be offering their ideas on how to ‘fix’ Formula 1 racing. From Jeremey Clarkson and Tiff Needell to actual F1 drivers such as Vettel, Hamilton and Grosjean. Well, after hearing everyone’s various ideas and ideologies, including Clarkson telling everyone to “f*** off”, we thought it was about time we give our 2 cents on the rather hot topic.

Forget everything that you’ve heard from the aforementioned names, whether they’re veteran Motorsport journalists or actual F1 drivers themselves. The fact is, none of them are brave enough to say exactly what we’re all thinking. It may seem their ideas are bold and defiant but we think that people are still censoring themselves and not saying exactly what they want Formula 1 to be.

We’ve taken it as our duty to say what everyone actually wants from Formula 1 and we’re pretty confident that our thoughts are well-aligned with those of the Formula 1 community.

Bring back the V10s for goodness sake

If someone subscribed to our email newsletter every time we heard an F1 fan say they miss the “V10 days” of Formula 1, we’d have millions of subscribers by now! We’ll settle for V10 or V12 engines – both of them sounded spectacular!

Nowadays, we’re stuck with the fart-like sound of a bunch of 1.6-litre V6 engines. The FIA seem to drastically underestimate the relationship between sound and entertainment. Sure, F1 fans are annoyed about the strictness of the rules and the ever-tightening health and safety regulations, but the FIA need to wake up and realise that people are simple by nature. We love the sound roaring V10 engines because it’s cool! Bring back the coolness of F1!

That high pitched roar of a precisely tuned, state-of-the-art V10 engine instantly strikes joy inside of us. It may not fix the bigger problems of F1, but it will certainly please a lot of viewers.

Joker laps

Joker laps are perhaps the best innovation brought to motorsport since KERS, the only problem is that the idea hasn’t been brought to Formula 1. Currently exclusively found in rallycross, a joker lap is something that each driver must complete once per race. The track splits in two at one point with one direction leading off to a longer route than the other.

Sometimes the longer route is even a dirt surface rather than asphalt, making the joker lap longer and more difficult. It takes strategy to plan which is the best lap in the race to take the joker lap and it takes skill to navigate the odd turns and terrain quickly and then rejoin the main track with the other cars without colliding.

It’s a great idea that will help solve the problem of F1 becoming more stale and boring to watch each year.

Only race in adverse conditions

It’s simple, really. The best races are always the ones in adverse conditions. A race on a dry, sunny day is a guaranteed snore-fest. With optimum visability, grip and temperature, races become very tame and gentle, which looks rather boring on-screen.

What we really want is for there to be spray to be so thick that we can just about see the cars on the screen. We want to see cars emerge out of nowhere from the misty spray of the car in front. We want to see the drivers truly tested to their limit, having to learn how to reign in their cars as they skid and slide about in the wet. As drivers spin out and throw their hands up in the air in frustration, others will master the art of controlling their vehicle in these conditions and come out on top. It’ll separate the amateurs from the masters. Wind, rain, fog or snow all make for more interesting races than clear skies and sunshine – it’s a fact.  

A recent example of this is the German GP which happened just over a week ago. It was a contrast to an otherwise predictable season. Mercedes drivers didn’t place 1st and 2nd for once and 7 drivers did not finish the race due to either spinning out or colliding with each other. There was plenty of overtaking and the whole race just felt a little more competitive than usual. As conditions changed, some drivers had slicks put on, some kept their wet tyres on, yet no one was 100% confident which setup was best for the conditions. It was a chaotic race and one that will be remembered for much longer than a race in the dry where nothing interesting happened.

However, this perfect plan does have one setback and that’s the planning. Weather is unpredictable and we may not always get the wind and rain we’re hoping for when it comes to race day. So, if drivers have to race on a clear day, we can just cover their tyres in lubricant. Simple.

Mount paintball guns to the cars

Just like the Batmobile has, F1 cars should be equipped with guns to shoot the cars in front of them at a press of a button. Considering how fragile the cars are nowadays, this will likely completely destroy them in the process, therefore making the race much more interesting.

Introduce banana peels

Just like in Mario Kart, drivers should be equipped with a number of banana peels to throw on the track throughout the race. This obstacle will force competitors to adapt to new conditions and add a whole new level of strategy.

So there you have it, the definitive list of things that will revive and repair Formula 1, without fail. Let us know your sensible suggestions and we’ll be sure to send them over to the FIA, along with our own.